next question or qwest or something like that

Here I am realizing that I have not posted in a long time. It seems I forget to share with others when I am really at a point of no return. I have put aside the questions and let things roll in my mind and life as it seems it all got to spinning out of control anyway.
I read the responses and have come to realize I too suffer from many things and that answering these questions for myself is a lot like answering them for a church. As soon as you begin to put the directions that come from a mission statement to action the mission moves.
I am there, when I began I was at a point in life that left me seemingly empty and void of anything. I wanted to be alone and had that despairity of failure and nothing ness filling all my waking and sleeping moments. Some may have wondered why I was not there and that is the whole deal. I was not here.
As you have all shared and life moved on, like always happens that to has come to pass. I have a new direction and will be moving toward that. For the first question --- I am good at speaking, reading to people, and I believe that makes me a good preacher. I am also good at listening which makes me a good pastor. As for death, it is from both of those and also a compassion and a gift of empathy that allows me to enter into someone's struggle with them.
For question #2 --- times of accomplishment are all listed as times when I entered into someone elses struggle with them. Together along with God (only recognized in the past 10 or 12 years) and the other person spirit there is a connection that isn't really easy to describe but is the high point of all things I accomplish.
For queston #3 --- Times of adversity are the opposite of #2. I really believe that things go absolutely down the toilet when I am disconnected from God and those he calls me to serve. Service of people has little to do with the church and everything to do with God. I have concluded that conflict, when I am in connect or engagement with God and others it is good, difficult but good. When I am not in the engaged mode with God and others it is a struggle and is not good even when the times are good.
Now for question #4 --- You must give away personally in the next 24 hours ten $100 bills. Where would you deliver the money?
A very difficult question but I believe the answer would come. I love to give away money and give to missions through the church as well as different social witness organizations. When the thought of those bills going it makes the juices flow to persons. If we could only get some people to ground zero they, along with some direction, could get life up and running. Some thoughts as to who these might be: I have a pastor friend who needs training in conflict management and is unemployed until receiving the training. A young single mom trying for years to get it together. A college student who could use the money to get a little better something or other or maybe an evening out. A young couple who could use the money for a weekend together (would require a baby sitter as well). Ultimately it is about the people and how we touch each other as individuals.

I have just returned from the Winter Pastor's School at Hastings College here in Nebraska and have some entirely new vision from that. I listened to the struggles pastors have had with the heirachy of Presbyteries, listened to faith journeys that lift up hope and some that leave me wondering what kept them moving along. I had great food and fellowship. Went bar hopping with an old friend. But most of what I got was something for me, it is about the relationship, about touching your heart with mine.
One lesson from the leader was a painting by Picasso. The painting dipicts 3 musicians and the description is the conflict as the meld into the instruments, each other and the room. At this description the vision in my mind was of the trinity. I am in you, you are in me, this is like I am in the Father adn the Father is in you. I felt a reality of my life open before me. When I am with you we are in each other. This also comes from the quote of 2 Quakers at the rail station; one asks the other, "do you love me?" of course I do is the reply. Then, "How can you love me if don't know what is bothering my soul?" Do you know what is bothering the soul of those you engage with????
Good grief there I go again, the preacher will not shut up!!!!
Have a great and God filled day, Pastor WaynO