You know that life gets so messed up sometimes because of lots of things. I find it many times to be people who mess up my life and maybe it is good messed up and sometimes bad. Once in a while, no most of the time my life is a mess because I take on to much. Makes it my fault then I suppose.
The last month or so has been abosolutely crazy, both good and bad some my mess some other peoples mess some like I said over extending myself. Whatever it is it causes me to check out after a while.
I took a part time job a year ago to go with being a full time pastor and volunteer chaplain and a dad and a lawn planting business and, and, and.
All was going quite well then another chaplain where I work parttime went on vacation and then the other one's sister fell ill and whammo I am in up to my arm pits. This and just as we begin extra worship for the summer.
Then daughter decides to move out from boyfriend (yippee -- gussy if you read this I am extatic) but a morning with my boys moving my daughter and a guy really upset and the cops there to keep the peace.
Oh and this missional thing keeps me on edge, you know trying to lead a couple of stuffy old style churches into missional thinking about makes me crazy too.
Nough venting here and I think I may be able to deal with it as I am back to the mountains for the 4th. Yeehaw can't wait.
WaynO
I really am absolutely crazy :o)
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
From a Deep Dark Hole
I know that title sounds a bit strange but that is where it feels like I have been for a couple of weeks. Nothing will lift up my spirit, nothing will give me energy, and there is little that feels good right now.
Maybe it is a bit of overwork and burnout or maybe it is something that is moving in and around me. I never am quite able to put a finger on these dark spots of life but they are there for sure and I have learned to just try and live through them without hurting to many people around me.
Today is better, just had a couple days, well 3 actually off and went to the mountains which always picks me up a bit. Life on the plains is okay but it gets stuffy here and there is no place that seems to be spiritually higher than other. I know it sounds judgemental but I was born in the shadow of Pikes Peak and then off to the plains only to come home to Wyoming and the mountains for a major time in life.
Enough on all that we had rain and the world is a brighter place for that and the cloudy days really do lift my spirit some. The birds are happy and the grass is green, the garden is watered as the dust is out of the air. How can a person not feel a bit better.
Had so much to say and then I start typing and it is gone. Time is gone as well so will try to get more done. Did a bit of blog searching and noticed many others are offline as well so that helps as it makes me not feel all alone in the desire lacking department.
Have a great day all and happy blogging.
WaynO
Maybe it is a bit of overwork and burnout or maybe it is something that is moving in and around me. I never am quite able to put a finger on these dark spots of life but they are there for sure and I have learned to just try and live through them without hurting to many people around me.
Today is better, just had a couple days, well 3 actually off and went to the mountains which always picks me up a bit. Life on the plains is okay but it gets stuffy here and there is no place that seems to be spiritually higher than other. I know it sounds judgemental but I was born in the shadow of Pikes Peak and then off to the plains only to come home to Wyoming and the mountains for a major time in life.
Enough on all that we had rain and the world is a brighter place for that and the cloudy days really do lift my spirit some. The birds are happy and the grass is green, the garden is watered as the dust is out of the air. How can a person not feel a bit better.
Had so much to say and then I start typing and it is gone. Time is gone as well so will try to get more done. Did a bit of blog searching and noticed many others are offline as well so that helps as it makes me not feel all alone in the desire lacking department.
Have a great day all and happy blogging.
WaynO
Saturday, May 10, 2008
What a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
I was thinking that I needed to put up a new post this week as I have neglected this quite a bit. Just not up to all that is happening.
Well the new week came and it was a funeral for a woman who at 61 died quite unexpectedly. Took massive amounts of energy and was in the town 20 miles away so I just don't get all gathered up. It was in a church I have preached at but not a funeral and I am not sure how all of the equip works there and with a different funeral home than I am used to. Made it though and have a brand new insight about dying.
Then to put icing on the cake my 21 year old daughter was put in the hospital and had emergency surgery. God never prepared me for my children or my spouse to be sick. My wife and I were at the hospital from about 10 pm Wed to 5am thursday. Great new though, she just called and is getting out today so I need to go pick her up and take her home. What a priveledge to be the daddy and get the call that all is well.
So it seems a bit self absorbed posting all this stuff and the I add a very difficult situation with being a hospice chaplain and putting all this into one week I wanted to scream or cry or I don't know what. The Lord settled me a bit and I began to think about the week. I really believe that I discovered something about being a human this week. There is so much stuff out there about grief (and that is what my week was for me) that it would boggle the mind. Funeral messages tend to fall under about 3 or 4 favorite scriptures with words that are meant to help us feel better and not make us cry.
There is a different thought about all this death and illness and living through it into another place. Scripture is important and I really use it but, and this is a biggy it doesn't always help. Sometimes I find the anger toward God makes us unable to hear anything positive in it. Often it is used as consolation when we really need to be angry and upset.
I am going to take the road for a while that says the whole issue isn't God, the issue is us. We are human and we are mortal. You see the problem is we really want to be immortal and we want the people we care about to be immortal. The problem is we do not seem to be able to accept the fact that we are not invinsible. We will all die, we will wear out and are succeptable to a multitude of problems.
If we were to compare ourselves to a machine (stretch I know) we would find that many of the part are not going to last. Even though we were created by a perfect being and we were created perfect we must throw in the abuse, the neglect, and all the things out in this world we live in that can and will attack us.
This is like the car without an oil change, the salt and grime of the road, the hot rodding, the bad fuel. It is like the sin nature of humanity that allows us to wallow in all the crap the world offers us.
That image ought to give all something to think about. I need to get going and know I am in the middle of a thought but gotta get it organized before posting.
Let me know what you think and I will try to post more regular.
Grace and Peace WaynO
Well the new week came and it was a funeral for a woman who at 61 died quite unexpectedly. Took massive amounts of energy and was in the town 20 miles away so I just don't get all gathered up. It was in a church I have preached at but not a funeral and I am not sure how all of the equip works there and with a different funeral home than I am used to. Made it though and have a brand new insight about dying.
Then to put icing on the cake my 21 year old daughter was put in the hospital and had emergency surgery. God never prepared me for my children or my spouse to be sick. My wife and I were at the hospital from about 10 pm Wed to 5am thursday. Great new though, she just called and is getting out today so I need to go pick her up and take her home. What a priveledge to be the daddy and get the call that all is well.
So it seems a bit self absorbed posting all this stuff and the I add a very difficult situation with being a hospice chaplain and putting all this into one week I wanted to scream or cry or I don't know what. The Lord settled me a bit and I began to think about the week. I really believe that I discovered something about being a human this week. There is so much stuff out there about grief (and that is what my week was for me) that it would boggle the mind. Funeral messages tend to fall under about 3 or 4 favorite scriptures with words that are meant to help us feel better and not make us cry.
There is a different thought about all this death and illness and living through it into another place. Scripture is important and I really use it but, and this is a biggy it doesn't always help. Sometimes I find the anger toward God makes us unable to hear anything positive in it. Often it is used as consolation when we really need to be angry and upset.
I am going to take the road for a while that says the whole issue isn't God, the issue is us. We are human and we are mortal. You see the problem is we really want to be immortal and we want the people we care about to be immortal. The problem is we do not seem to be able to accept the fact that we are not invinsible. We will all die, we will wear out and are succeptable to a multitude of problems.
If we were to compare ourselves to a machine (stretch I know) we would find that many of the part are not going to last. Even though we were created by a perfect being and we were created perfect we must throw in the abuse, the neglect, and all the things out in this world we live in that can and will attack us.
This is like the car without an oil change, the salt and grime of the road, the hot rodding, the bad fuel. It is like the sin nature of humanity that allows us to wallow in all the crap the world offers us.
That image ought to give all something to think about. I need to get going and know I am in the middle of a thought but gotta get it organized before posting.
Let me know what you think and I will try to post more regular.
Grace and Peace WaynO
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Season Winding Down
I never know what to title a post but think this may be appropriate. The season of Easter is rapidly ending. As next Sunday is Ascension Sunday and the following is Pentecost I must begin to change the vision and content of worship.
I get caught in betwixt this liturgical and the open ended unstructured non bulletined worship so many tout these days. I like the liturgical as it gives us a reason to move from one place to another, it offers us a discipline of worship and a journey through scripture that otherwise may get misdirected.
In the church where I serve I am constantly reminded of the faith that ungirds everything these people do. In the last 4 or so weeks there has been hell abounding with illness and accidents. There are those who are the old guard finding themselves in the hospital, sometimes with answers and hope and other times without either.
As one elder recovers from abdominal anurism another enters for a minor heart check resulting in both carodids cleaned and a 4 way bipass. All the while one more is in yet another hospital trying to find out why the kidneys are not removing the toxins from the blood.
These are all on the way to recovery, home and getting better when an accident claims the life of a 45 year old man, and the organist of one church is life flighted out with a severe heart condition.
Not to bad for about 100 signed on members.
Today they reassure me of who's they are as we lift in prayer yet others and proclaim to God the glory of healing (no mention of the Dr. just God) and restoring of much devestation.
I am amazed once again, then wonder why ever would I doubt that the people who would give the shirt off their back to one in need would ever not proclaim their God and Savior.
We are missional and we are liturgical and we are a church. Praise the Lord for these saints who keep the faith from failing. Praise the Lord for these saints who teach a young minimally trained pastor what it means to serve a risen Lord.
Amen and praise to all in the name of Jesus the Christ.
WaynO
I get caught in betwixt this liturgical and the open ended unstructured non bulletined worship so many tout these days. I like the liturgical as it gives us a reason to move from one place to another, it offers us a discipline of worship and a journey through scripture that otherwise may get misdirected.
In the church where I serve I am constantly reminded of the faith that ungirds everything these people do. In the last 4 or so weeks there has been hell abounding with illness and accidents. There are those who are the old guard finding themselves in the hospital, sometimes with answers and hope and other times without either.
As one elder recovers from abdominal anurism another enters for a minor heart check resulting in both carodids cleaned and a 4 way bipass. All the while one more is in yet another hospital trying to find out why the kidneys are not removing the toxins from the blood.
These are all on the way to recovery, home and getting better when an accident claims the life of a 45 year old man, and the organist of one church is life flighted out with a severe heart condition.
Not to bad for about 100 signed on members.
Today they reassure me of who's they are as we lift in prayer yet others and proclaim to God the glory of healing (no mention of the Dr. just God) and restoring of much devestation.
I am amazed once again, then wonder why ever would I doubt that the people who would give the shirt off their back to one in need would ever not proclaim their God and Savior.
We are missional and we are liturgical and we are a church. Praise the Lord for these saints who keep the faith from failing. Praise the Lord for these saints who teach a young minimally trained pastor what it means to serve a risen Lord.
Amen and praise to all in the name of Jesus the Christ.
WaynO
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Gettin Crazy
Wow what a week and it is only Tues. If you have been reading my blog a while you may remember the newsletter I posted that seemed to get some of the ladies in the church I service a bit upset.
I asked a question -- "does the church need a building to be the church?" I found out later some thought I was selling the building owned by the church!!!! I simply wanted to make a point and create some thought that might create some activity.
Then I dropped a giant bomb shell and suggested that the fairly traded coffee we sell become a mission. Explaination --- we purchase coffee because we believe it is a good thing, then we offer it free will donation and use those funds for anothe mission project.
Goal -- we support two missions and do a bunch of educaiton in the process.
Well this morning on the hospice chaplain call in our thought for the day is --- "Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go" this followed by the administration comment that "we are here to keep you from going to far".
To bring this back to original thought, I can't say what at this point but one of the session members said he wanted to get a little crazy??????? Wow did he ever have an idea, silent discussion then a little more then some real thinking going on.
I am pumped today and have to go get a CPR card blek.
I checked blogs and found this linked to and thought it fit into the same pericope, the challenge is to the current church to get up, get crazy, go the limit, see what we can do with Jesus!!!!!!!!
I think the link got put up on my last post all by itself. Man if I ever get this thing figured out it will amazing.
Grace adn Peace WaynO
I asked a question -- "does the church need a building to be the church?" I found out later some thought I was selling the building owned by the church!!!! I simply wanted to make a point and create some thought that might create some activity.
Then I dropped a giant bomb shell and suggested that the fairly traded coffee we sell become a mission. Explaination --- we purchase coffee because we believe it is a good thing, then we offer it free will donation and use those funds for anothe mission project.
Goal -- we support two missions and do a bunch of educaiton in the process.
Well this morning on the hospice chaplain call in our thought for the day is --- "Only those who risk going to far can possibly find out how far one can go" this followed by the administration comment that "we are here to keep you from going to far".
To bring this back to original thought, I can't say what at this point but one of the session members said he wanted to get a little crazy??????? Wow did he ever have an idea, silent discussion then a little more then some real thinking going on.
I am pumped today and have to go get a CPR card blek.
I checked blogs and found this linked to and thought it fit into the same pericope, the challenge is to the current church to get up, get crazy, go the limit, see what we can do with Jesus!!!!!!!!
I think the link got put up on my last post all by itself. Man if I ever get this thing figured out it will amazing.
Grace adn Peace WaynO
Friday, April 11, 2008
A B e a u tiful Day
Snow, snow, snow, wind and rain dark of night and I wonder if the post office is really even open. Got up this morning to 8 or 10 in. of snow, elec out, wind howling. There is a God and he is good.
But seriously folks how we muddle through life here in the good ole USA not even thinking about what works and what don't work. I realized that we had only one radio that we had batteries for. I grind fresh beans each morning so no coffee. No TV, no microwave, no furnace, no lights. Then I had a flash about a place called Muldova that a couple of my friends do mission work in. They don't even have windows to close on most houses, little or no fire wood, not much food, elec is just a luxury (when it is on). Life there would be a terror for most of us. I filled my belly with hash browns, eggs and pepper jack cheese. (my stove is gas and I just had to light the burner) I went out and started my wife's pickup so she could go to work (elec back on) left it running so it would be warm for her. Now the furnace won't seem to stop running and I got coffee ground and my interenet is up.
I think I should apologize to someone.
Then I went to this blog called Jesus Creed http://www.jesuscreed.org/?p=3686 and read a real interesting little parable. Go read enjoy, but think about it, why would it be important to discuss how seeds are planted and how they grow. In that time most if not everyone understood how these things worked or I would imagine that they would. In a world that causes you to live with the land and the dust and bugs there are a lot of things one would be familiar with that many today don't have a clue about and for that matter don't really care about.
Careful, I am beginning to sound a bit judgemental and I don't like that so better stop. Have a great day where ever you are. Enjoy the power of the earth as it lives and breathes. Yes, enjoy even if your house blew away in a tornado, you almost washed away in a flood, crashed on the icy road, are parched in a drought. Enjoy and rejoice.....you have an awesome God who is with you no matter what.
WaynO
But seriously folks how we muddle through life here in the good ole USA not even thinking about what works and what don't work. I realized that we had only one radio that we had batteries for. I grind fresh beans each morning so no coffee. No TV, no microwave, no furnace, no lights. Then I had a flash about a place called Muldova that a couple of my friends do mission work in. They don't even have windows to close on most houses, little or no fire wood, not much food, elec is just a luxury (when it is on). Life there would be a terror for most of us. I filled my belly with hash browns, eggs and pepper jack cheese. (my stove is gas and I just had to light the burner) I went out and started my wife's pickup so she could go to work (elec back on) left it running so it would be warm for her. Now the furnace won't seem to stop running and I got coffee ground and my interenet is up.
I think I should apologize to someone.
Then I went to this blog called Jesus Creed http://www.jesuscreed.org/?p=3686 and read a real interesting little parable. Go read enjoy, but think about it, why would it be important to discuss how seeds are planted and how they grow. In that time most if not everyone understood how these things worked or I would imagine that they would. In a world that causes you to live with the land and the dust and bugs there are a lot of things one would be familiar with that many today don't have a clue about and for that matter don't really care about.
Careful, I am beginning to sound a bit judgemental and I don't like that so better stop. Have a great day where ever you are. Enjoy the power of the earth as it lives and breathes. Yes, enjoy even if your house blew away in a tornado, you almost washed away in a flood, crashed on the icy road, are parched in a drought. Enjoy and rejoice.....you have an awesome God who is with you no matter what.
WaynO
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